Journey Thus Far

I started my ttc journey in September 2014.

Not having much information or what to expect, I followed the instructions given by the doc & nurses, injected myself with the medications, went for scans as scheduled and did the SO-IUI procedure in September 2014. The cycle ended with a BFN.

Advised to start another SO-IUI cycle in December 2014, and that is exactly what I did. With injectables and scans, in the mid of the cycle, I was advised to either cancel this cycle or to change it to a freeze all IVF cycle instead as the stimulation caused too many follicles to be stimulated. In the end, we chose to switch to a freeze all IVF cycle. Retrieved 14 follicles in total, and was informed that 2 were fertilized and froze as d3 embryos.

January 2015, through a FET cycle, transferred both embryos in and waited for the results. I had a BFP for this cycle for the first time. Beta was around 1300. The results was good, my w6 scan was supposed to be on 05 April 2015, but I never got till that date. I had a sudden massive bleeding on 01 April 2015 and miscarried. 

June 2015, started to see TCM to see whether there will be better results from the cycles.

September 2015, did a fresh cycle (short protocol), retrieved 14 follicles in total, but was informed that there was no fertilization at all. During that period, was also having TCM and acupuncture as well.

March 2016, did my 3rd fresh cycle (long protocol), retrieved 6 follicles in total. I was totally heart broken when I heard the low number of follicles retrieved, especially when the last cycle of 14 follicles yielded 0 fertilization. I was blessed with 2 d3 embryos which were transferred during the cycle. I had a BFP for that cycle too. Beta was around 400. Didnt have any bleeding or spotting through the first few weeks, and went for my scan at week 6. Was informed during that scan, that they cannot see the fetal pole or yoke sac, was told to come back a week later to see what is the progress. Following week, was informed that the sac is growing but fetal pole and yoke sac still isnt found, my Beta was still rising during that point. 2 weeks later, went back for another scan, still no fetal pole nor yoke sac. Was diagnosed as Blighted Ovum, and d&c scheduled a week later. I had the d&c on 10 May 2016. From the fetal tissue, we know that it was a girl with no chromosome issues.

March 2017, did my 4th fresh cycle (long protocol), retrieved 32 follicles in total, blessed with 5 d5 blastocysts. Had to freeze all the blastocysts as I seem to have shown signs of mild OHSS.

May 2017, did a FET cycle and transferred 1 blastocyst, lost one blastocyst as it didnt survive the thawing process. Had a BFP for that cycle too, Beta was around 900. During the week 6 scan, they found the fetus to have feeble heartbeat, and I miscarried with massive bleeding 2 days after that scan. 

May 2018, did a FET cycle and transferred 1 blastocyst. BFN for that cycle.

July 2018, did a Natural Thaw cycle with Letrozole and transferred 1 blastocyst, lost the last blastocyst as it didnt survive the thawing process. BFN for that cycle.


After the review

Went for my review, and doc advised that she will not recommend me to start another cycle until there are better ways to help me. She mentioned about PGS, but she is unsure whether that is the best procedures for me. But she will put up my case for department discussion, to discuss what would be the best next course of action for my case. In the mean time, I can only wait for further update from her. 😊

Result of blood test

Went for my blood test in the morning and the result was negative….

Being disappointed with the result is an absolutely normal reaction…

My next doctor appointment is 31st July, see what she will say about these 2 cycles…

25 June to 29 June

I had 3 scans done during the week, and I must say, they were all rather interesting…

1st scan on 25 June:
Lining: 7.4 (triple)
Largest Follicle: 15.5 (left)
When I first heard those numbers, I was shocked, as I havent heard a triple lining for a very long time already. And just 3 days, the numbers did have a very good improvements. I am really very excited about the numbers I heard.

2nd scan on 27 June:
Lining: 8.8 (triple)
Largest Follicle: 20 (left)
YEAH!!! My lining reached the number that transfer can be arranged. But doc wants my body to ovulate on its own, instead of doing a trigger shot for me, so I had to check for ovulation on thursday and come back for another scan if it is positive.

3rd scan on 29 June:
Lining: 9.6 (triple)
Largest Follicle: 8 (left)
Heard those number from the follicles was really shocking.. In the end, I had to do another OPK test, which is still negative to me, and due to that, I need to do blood test to confirm ovulation, so I did, and I had to wait around for 2 hours for the results.
FINALLY, the results came back alright and my transfer is arranged on Wednesday (04 July).

This whole journey is really very interesting.. The first time I am doing a Letrozole thaw cycle, the first time I heard triple lining after a few years… These 2 weeks journey, the ups and the downs, the times where I worry that this cycle will be cancelled, all ended with good lining thickness and a date for transfer.. Anticipating the results…

Be Still

Infertility journey can feel so lonely… So helpless… So many unknown…

This is the first cycle where I am on a semi-natural cycle… In medicated cycle, I am given Progynova to stimulate my lining to grow, but there won’t be any ovulation or follicle growth with that mediation. For this cycle, I am given Letrozole to stimulate the follicles, so that I may have an ovulation. And being someone with PCOS, I can’t stop worrying whether the medication will work with me, whether it will really cause an ovulation with me, whether this cycle will need to be cancelled…

Since I am not on any other medication, there is no additional external help to try to get ovulation to occur in my body. I just need to believe that the medication will do what it needs to do, and my body will respond to it at its own timing.. And the result will be a positive one… 🙂

The situation may not be the best that we know of, but as long as everything is in God’s hand, He will have the best plans for us at His perfect timing. Trusting and believing that He will show His faithfulness through the situation irregardless of what the natural circumstances may be.

D12 – 22 June 2018

Just finished the doc’s visit today…

There isn’t much progress since Wed’s visit…
Lining : 4.7mm
Largest on left & right ovaries : 13 & 10.5 respectively

Doc’s advice is to continue monitoring for ovulation over the weekend and come back on Monday for another scanning if no ovulation detected over the weekend.

This may be a long and tiring journey but as long as the end result is good, everything will be well worth it.

D8 – Scanning

Done my first scanning after the round of Letrozole.
The lining seems to be thinner than the baseline scan, and there are follicles growing, the doc said that there seem to be some progress, and said that it may be still very early, and I will need to continue scanning.

I am having mixed feelings, I am not sure whether I should be excited that there are some follicles that are growing, or I should be disappointed as the lining is even lower than results during the baseline scan.

Nevertheless, the final result isn’t within my control, I can only do my best to listen to the doc’s advice and follow their instructions.

After the scans, we walked past Clinic D and saw the nurses and had a short chat, and HB commented that we have been here so frequently that we basically know and are comfortable with nurses and they feel like family.
After so many tries, after so many different results, we really get comfortable with some of the staff there, and their well-wishes really made a difference to us… =)